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==The Human Caviar Theory (Ironic, I Swear)== | ==The Human Caviar Theory (Ironic, I Swear)== | ||
If we were to possibly hire women to extract ovaries from and create human caviar, we could sell it globally to under-developed nations. We wouldn't tell them what type of caviar it is, we'd simply list it as "exotic". Considering the misleading labelling and the reasonably large prices, along with possibly being a pimp for the women having their eggs extracted, you would make a fair bit of money. You could then proceed to buy out local businesses and enlarge your income. Not only that, but if you were to expand your territory, you could reach even more women to extract eggs from, resulting in more production and thus more money. You could use this money to buy even bigger businesses, preferably important industries such as steel and wood. You could then press mega-corporations under your thumb after a certain point, which would be relatively easy considering how spineless corporation managers are (ex: Elon being pushed around by the Turkish government on Twitter). You could then heighten those prices by very small amounts, and soon you'd be able to convince massive companies to sell their rights to you. You could do this many times over the years and it would be completely legal. If you were to buy out, say, Amazon or Tesla, international corporations, you could push beyond your country's boundaries and connect yourself, like a parasite, to the rest of the planet. You could then buy out resources from the same third-world countries that bought your caviar, | If we were to possibly hire women to extract ovaries from and create human caviar, we could sell it globally to under-developed nations. We wouldn't tell them what type of caviar it is, we'd simply list it as "exotic". Considering the misleading labelling and the reasonably large prices, along with possibly being a pimp for the women having their eggs extracted, you would make a fair bit of money. You could then proceed to buy out local businesses and enlarge your income. Not only that, but if you were to expand your territory, you could reach even more women to extract eggs from, resulting in more production and thus more money. You could use this money to buy even bigger businesses, preferably important industries such as steel and wood. You could then press mega-corporations under your thumb after a certain point, which would be relatively easy considering how spineless corporation managers are (ex: Elon being pushed around by the Turkish government on Twitter). You could then heighten those prices by very small amounts, and soon you'd be able to convince massive companies to sell their rights to you. You could do this many times over the years and it would be completely legal. If you were to buy out, say, Amazon or Tesla, international corporations, you could push beyond your country's boundaries and connect yourself, like a parasite, to the rest of the planet. You could then buy out resources from the same third-world countries that bought your caviar, and not only use the resources of their nation to further build your global monopoly, but they would soon rely on only you for food and water. After a while, you'd be able to essentially buy out the world. After some time, you could press entire governments under your boot and force them to do things your way. You could bribe politicians, hire local militias for assassinations and such. Soon, you'd be able to get your own little pawns into office. You could then essentially control governments through these minions of your's and make them arrest economic opponents, allowing you to build even more territory. Not only this, but you could begin an international female pimp trade to extract eggs and sell even more caviar. After some time, you'd essentially be a god amongst men and wipe out entire cities at your very whim. All of this because of human caviar. | ||
Revision as of 05:48, 7 May 2024
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Self Insert "People can really believe anything these days!" - Ismism This page is meant to represent CurlWurl's political views. Please do not make any major edits without their permission. |
Introduction
Heathcliffism is a 
libertarian left, 
market socialist, culturally 
syncretic (primarily 
progressive), environmentally 
syncretic (primarily more 
environmentalist than industrialist), diplomatically 
globalist ideology created by the online user Curly Wurly (pen name Mark Heathcliff).
Revolution and Democratic Overturn
Heathcliffism supports the idea of a coup, in which the current state, no matter the current ruling party, is overthrown through means of both democratic election and militaristic revolt. In the ideal Heathcliffist revolution, a leader of similar views to that of the Heathcliffists would be democratically elected and begin an offensive assault on national corporate headquarters and primary governmental targets. If a leader is not to be elected in the preferred period of time and cannot execute the offensive attack, any means necessary will be used against the ruling class. Whether it be an armed/unarmed revolt, a reform, mass worker strikes, or an insurrection (similar to the insurrection of January 6th 2020 on Capitol Hill, Washington DC).
Economics
Heathcliffism endorses a free market economy. We believe that to achieve ultimate economic liberty, we must remain with a free market. Of course, free doesn't always mean unregulated. Unlike a Laissez-Faire market, products and other outwardly harmful items (such as firearms, melee combat weapons, unlicensed drug products, unlicensed alcohol products, et cetera) will be regulated and confiscated. Heathcliffism also does not believe in the sale, rent, or buying of property (aside from private housing structures), as we believe the concept of the ownership of physical land is unreasonable.
Legalization Of Narcotics
Ulitmately, drugs being banned is more harmful than drugs not being banned. Drugs, yes, cause death, but in more ways than one. Overall, it's all about supply and demand. If demand overreaches supply, inflation of prices ensues, all hell breaks loose. People will practically kill to get their supply, with major emphasis on the word "kill". To stop all of this violence amongst gang bangers and junkies, the ultimate resolution will be to legalize all drugs, under certain restrictions of course. Drugs shouldn't be allowed in public spaces, and this will go for cigarettes too. Sale of drugs must be licensed, as it is with things such as alcohol or firearms. Also like firearms, people must also be licensed to purchase them and use them. Drugs should only be allowed to be bought in certain amounts over the duration of a specific period of time, again like firearms.
Barring Firearms (And Other Weaponery) From The Public
I somewhat don't agree with this, as it partially contradicts my "any means necessary" point, but whatever. I believe firearms should be completely barred from the public. I don't just mean more restrictions or higher prices, because that has been done before and nothing has happened. What I mean in a full lockdown on any form of firearm. Although it will not cut down on all weapon activity, it will certainly abolish a major chunk of shootings and such, as proven in the United Kingdom.
The Human Caviar Theory (Ironic, I Swear)
If we were to possibly hire women to extract ovaries from and create human caviar, we could sell it globally to under-developed nations. We wouldn't tell them what type of caviar it is, we'd simply list it as "exotic". Considering the misleading labelling and the reasonably large prices, along with possibly being a pimp for the women having their eggs extracted, you would make a fair bit of money. You could then proceed to buy out local businesses and enlarge your income. Not only that, but if you were to expand your territory, you could reach even more women to extract eggs from, resulting in more production and thus more money. You could use this money to buy even bigger businesses, preferably important industries such as steel and wood. You could then press mega-corporations under your thumb after a certain point, which would be relatively easy considering how spineless corporation managers are (ex: Elon being pushed around by the Turkish government on Twitter). You could then heighten those prices by very small amounts, and soon you'd be able to convince massive companies to sell their rights to you. You could do this many times over the years and it would be completely legal. If you were to buy out, say, Amazon or Tesla, international corporations, you could push beyond your country's boundaries and connect yourself, like a parasite, to the rest of the planet. You could then buy out resources from the same third-world countries that bought your caviar, and not only use the resources of their nation to further build your global monopoly, but they would soon rely on only you for food and water. After a while, you'd be able to essentially buy out the world. After some time, you could press entire governments under your boot and force them to do things your way. You could bribe politicians, hire local militias for assassinations and such. Soon, you'd be able to get your own little pawns into office. You could then essentially control governments through these minions of your's and make them arrest economic opponents, allowing you to build even more territory. Not only this, but you could begin an international female pimp trade to extract eggs and sell even more caviar. After some time, you'd essentially be a god amongst men and wipe out entire cities at your very whim. All of this because of human caviar.